3 Ways to Enjoy Showing More Skin in your Swimsuit

You don’t have to be Ashley Graham to strut your stuff in your swimsuit with confidence. Read more for how to show more skin while feeling fabulous.

Spring is coming up, and you know what that means! It means you’re going to show some more skin. And if you’re anything like me, who spent most of my childhood being morbidly obese, you might not be thrilled at the prospect.

I think that a lot of us women are hesitant to share the reasons why we don’t want to show a lot of skin, whether it’s because you feel like you’re not perfect underneath your clothes or because somebody made a comment to you and made you feel a certain way about your body.

Let’s talk about scars, “booty shorts” and even looking good naked this spring. And, a different way of feeling great showing skin, regardless of your current size or weight.

The Scars

Recently I went to a photo shoot focused on highlighting scars. Typically when we think of scars, we think of an injury or surgery.

The first thing that came to mind is my stretchmarks. Even as a health coach, I am still that little girl who spent her whole childhood hiding in plain sight.

Even though it has been 20 years since I lost 100 pounds, I am still creating my own comfort level with showing my skin.

Not many 10 year olds get the singular experience of having to deal with angry red marks all over their shoulders and upper arms. Most women don’t deal with that until they’re pregnant or gain a lot of weight, but typically that doesn’t happen to kids. It happened to me, and those memories can’t be denied.

I spent most of my childhood desperately trying to find clothes that covered my arms. And if you’re female and you have ever tried to look in the stores for non-sleeveless shirts during the spring, you will notice that there aren’t many to be found. As a kid from a larger family on a budget, I certainly didn’t have the luxury of finding custom clothing to accommodate my size.

Summer time was a very difficult time for me because I found myself wearing a lot of cover-ups and even bulky sweaters.

What happens when you cover up with a sweater in summer? You sweat more! I used to sweat more than the average person, thanks to the extra weight that I was carrying. Even when I wasn’t really doing anything physical, I would sit there and sweat because I was still wearing my sweater over my arms to cover those darn stretchmarks.

My stretchmarks have been with me since I was like 10 years old. At this point, I’m almost 40 now. I should be comfortable with them, right? Not necessarily.

I did a photo shoot with Andrea Baue to highlight my scars, AKA my stretchmarks, because I want to be comfortable with every piece of myself. My scars share my story, and made me who I am today.

You may be in a place where you still are covering up whatever that story is, whether it’s because you don’t want to bring it out into the light of day or you are afraid of what people might think, and I totally understand where you’re coming from because that was my experience.

Your scars are nothing to be ashamed of. Neither are you.

Whether you are ready to expose your least favorite body part or not, know that it paints the full picture of who you are as a person. And, that is to be celebrated.

As we get closer to the end of April, you may be sweating for a different reason other than scars or imperfections. As you think about  summer time and vacations and swimsuits- what emotion comes forth for you?

The Dreaded Swimsuit

A fitness trainer that I follow on Facebook asked, “Is there an appropriate age to wear a bikini?” Her concern was obviously not scars or flabbiness- her concern was age.

This is where I disagree with the body positive community, but not for the reason you may think. Regardless of what size I was or am today, I would never, ever, ever, consider wearing a bikini.

It has nothing to do with my scars or my size. It has to do with my feelings about modesty. Personally, I feel uncomfortable with someone who is wearing a bikini on the beach. They are basically wearing their underwear in public. I don’t want to see all of a woman’s bits and pieces hanging out of her bikini at the beach.

A woman does not need to put her body on display in order to display her confidence.

No matter what size I am, I prefer to cover up more of my body. That is why I find it interesting that some people assert, “Oh, it shows that you have a great amount of confidence if you wear a bikini at any size.”

(If you want tips on how to overcome bikini fear as a plus size woman, check out Revelist)

I say, a confident woman is secure enough in her femininity to wear clothing that is both sexy and doesn’t make teenage boys gawk. Sexiness is only a small part of confidence, and certainly not the biggest part. This is not a popular opinion, but I stand behind it.

To me, nothing shows confidence quite like a woman jet-skiing, para-sailing, splashing with her kids or swimming like an elite athlete in her sensible one piece rather than laying like a roasted piece of meat on the sand in her bikini straps.

Do you feel that a revealing swimsuit or bikini is the best way to show body confidence?

The Short Short

Even if you feel somewhat comfortable with showing more skin, and you embrace summer in all of its glory, you might still feel like the summer clothes that do fit are not very flattering.

Take the short shorts for example. My teen calls them “booty shorts”, and the girls at her high school wear them even in the dead of winter.

In addition to more cheek than necessary, “booty shorts” show a lot of thigh. Supposedly, even plus sized women desire to show off as much leg and butt as possible. Even if they have cottage cheese (aka cellulite) on them.

Sorry, clothes manufacturers! I don’t want to peel my sweaty leg off of my seat to please your sense of fashion. Nor, do I bow to your definition of what a woman wants.

Some clothes manufacturers are getting savvy to that, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t still struggle to find clothes that cover you up appropriately and still make you feel confident and comfortable.

That was one of the bigger challenges I had as a plus size woman. If I found something that was comfortable, it didn’t make me feel very confident. A tent is not flattering to anyone.

What about tank tops? I wear tank tops underneath my T-shirts when I exercise, but rarely bare my arms to the light of day. Even though I have strong arms and exercise using HIIT 3-4 times a week. I have had conversations with many women who go to great pains to cover up their arms, either due to stretch marks, batwings.

I highly encourage weight training to work those sexy arm muscles. After years of strength training, I appreciate that my arm muscles are reaching new definitions of strong. And, nothing builds confidence more than strength.

Even Happify published an infographic saying that lifting weights is key to improving body confidence. Here’s my photo to prove it!

Look Good Naked

I heard recently that one of the things that all of us want to do as people, regardless of where we are and what station we are in life, is to look good naked.

In fact, your last diet program might have used this in their latest marketing techniques. The “look good naked” program (buy today for only $3500!)

Is that true for you? I’m fine with being naked around my family, which I believe shows a different level of body confidence. I could certainly tone up a bit more, but the thought of being ashamed of my body just isn’t there.

How you feel when you are naked might be a landmine of emotion. And, that is valid. However, you have the power to change that.

(Hint: One way to change that is to try the 5 Days to Body Bliss challenge.)

Yet, the closest most of us will ever get to being naked in public is a swimsuit. Unless you want to be someone who stays indoors all the time or never hits the beach, you’re probably going to wear a swimsuit at some point over the summer.

I’m okay wearing a swimsuit now, but that wasn’t always the case.

Several years ago, my family traveled to Mexico. It was my first time to Mexico, and I was literally in this beautiful lagoon with people who looked like they were on the cover of a magazine. I mean, these were people who look so perfect and so effortless, and I am not one of those people.

• I don’t look perfect or effortless.
• I like the way I look, and I’m cool with who I am.

I was fine walking around this lagoon with model-perfect people in their bikinis and their swimsuits, not an inch of stretchmarks, cellulite, anything on their bodies. And we were all just there to have a good time. I was there to have a good time, free from my own judgment.

And instead of stressing out about how I looked in my swimsuit and whether people were looking at the cellulite on my legs or the stretchmarks on my arms, I learned how to just be in the moment. To be ME.

Nobody looked at my body because they were looking at my face. When you show so much joy and happiness in what you’re doing, people are not paying attention to marks on your body.

Here are 3 ways to be more confident in your swimsuit:

1. Don’t make a big deal of covering yourself up!

The more you shrink upon yourself when you’re on the beach or at the swimming pool, the more you make a big deal out of wearing your cover-up the more likely people will look at you. The more of a production you make around how uncomfortable you are wearing your swimsuit on the beach, the more likely people will notice that.

2. Find a cute swimsuit

Even plus sizes can be flattering. In fact, I just got a new plus size swimsuit that blew me away. Check out the Magicsuit here.

3. Focus on what you love

Whether it’s splashing in the surf, burying your kids in the sand, or para-sailing, focus on what makes you smile.

Here’ s my promise to you- you CAN strut your stuff on the beach and feel amazing regardless of what size you are today, regardless of how your story or your history with your body makes you feel.

I would love to support you to feel better in your skin, to feel better in your swimsuit.

I am enrolling for the last round of Let It Go group health coaching. It’s a six week group coaching program that helps you get clear on your goals. I don’t mean a goal that’s appropriate for your mother, your brother, your neighbor, your co-worker. A goal that works for you.

Once we’ve chosen the right goal for you, every week we check in with a group coaching call, meal plans, and gym-free fitness tips.

Most importantly, we talk about confidence and feeling good. Part of feeling good is simply not caring what other people think. That’s ultimately where you’ll get in the course of six weeks. I will be there for you 100% of the way.

Who is Let it Go for? It’s a fit for women who are committed and ready to make change happen in a different way than the traditional dieting programs.

This is not a diet program. I’m not gonna shake my finger at you because you’re eating a certain way. I don’t restrict anything you’re doing. We focus on the good, not on the bad.

Summer time is coming up and you will have to show more skin. If you don’t feel comfortable showing skin because you feel like your skin tells too much of a story about you and your imperfections, then let me support you to a place where you feel better about yourself.

Let it Go is one way to achieve that. Click the button below to enroll. We start April 23!