Diet, Food Deprivation, and Desire

When you think of the word “diet”, does food deprivation also come to mind? Read how to stop dieting so you can desire healthy foods naturally!

Let me introduce you to Vitalia. She has been working with me in Let it Go since January 2018, and she is KILLING it! Not only is she down 45 pounds, but she is also enjoying her daily food choices in a way she never thought possible.

In a coaching call the other day, she brought up an interesting point of how my program has helped her shift her mindset around food. This mindset shift has allowed her to enjoy eating a regular breakfast, play around with daily meal themes, and still enjoy her daily piece of chocolate. Even more, this mindset shift has directly impacted her desire for food she previously enjoyed eating large amounts of.

This is certainly possible for you.

If you have ever started a diet in your life, you have probably felt the pinch of food deprivation. That is, the restriction of free access to food, particularly in experimental settings where it is used as a technique to manipulate organisms to work for rewards and to establish levels of motivation (Psychology Wiki).

I don’t know about you, but restricting access to food has never been particularly motivational for me. In many cases, it has made me crave the food even MORE. If someone dared to raise an eyebrow at my food choices, I would raise my own in response and dig right in.

On a fun side note, some of my clients have admitted they started working with me because I never made any comments on food choices they make.

And, let’s talk about the verb “manipulate“. As a parent, I am not immune from sometimes choosing to use food to encourage (manipulate) good behavior in my children. However, I am just as cognizant that this particular technique can blow up spectacularly in my face!

Maybe you have seen similar experiences in your own children. If that is the case, why would you think it would be a fool-proof technique when applied to your own precious desires?

Now, technically, a diet does NOT have to mean that you deprive yourself of food. I say technically, because have you ever run across a diet that tells you every food is OK? In a world of Whole30, keto, gluten-free and all organic, it can be difficult to imagine a healthy lifestyle that still doesn’t raise eyebrows when you stray outside the very strict structure that most popular diets are built upon.

As a consequence, most clients I speak to are very cautious about starting a diet during the holidays or when on vacation. Their thinking is “Well, I can’t get started with you right because I have a vacation coming up and I want to enjoy myself“.

In other words, starting a new diet implies that you cannot enjoy yourself anymore. You have to start depriving yourself and that leads to temptations and desire. 

What is the middle ground? After all, I’m sure you can understand that health programs can’t let you eat whatever you feel like it, whenever you feel like it.

As Vitalia said, “I don’t feel deprived but I have a diminished desire for eating certain things and for eating certain quantities of food.”

That is where we get into anti-diet territory. When you work with me, you learn to shift your habits over time. Not in a 100% effort, over-the-top way, but in a gentle and non-biased approach. Consequently, you will feel less of a push and a pull towards those unconscious behaviors that no longer serve your needs.

The result: Diminished Desire

So let’s talk about desire in general and what creates desire in us for food. What goes into desire when it comes to food?

Breaking Rules

Do you ever get a feeling of illicitness, like you shouldn’t eat a certain food? It might because the food is high in sugar, high in fat, or full of calories. It could even be a food that causes a specific physical reaction in us, like an allergy or intolerance.

We know that these foods are even more tempting because of the perception that “healthy people” don’t eat these types of foods. So there’s that feeling of “Oops, I’m being BAD by doing these things.” There’s a good and a bad side of it.

(I know- this type of BAD is not even close to things a cop can handcuff you for, but we all live dangerously in our own ways, don’t we?)

I’m kind of a rebel in that way. If someone tells me to do something or not to do something, I’m probably going to do the opposite because I don’t like being told what to do. My poor pediatrician tried to get me to kick my potato chip habit for YEARS. And, eventually, I did kick it. In my own good time!

Biological Needs

Let’s face it- there’s no fun in saying “I really desire a piece of broccoli right now” or “I really desire to have some kale.” People who post food porn of their latest salad are probably either lifelong health gurus or folks who are very competitive inside of some health accountability group.

The distinction between craving and desire is subtle, but worth mentioning. The definition of craving is an intense, urgent or powerful desire for something. A desire is defined as a strong wish or want for something.

Do you see the difference? The first has a component of being unable to control it.

Food cravings arise from the anticipation or memory of pleasure in our brain, and also from satisfying an emotional desire, such as relieving stress (WedMD).

If you find yourself craving specific types of foods, it may also be a sign of something physical. Check out this Reader’s Digest article on what your food craving could be telling you.

In this article on biology of food choice, we discover that our bodies prefer sweet and high fat foods to satisfy our pleasure response, high protein foods for satiety, and food variety for increased portion sizes.

In other words, why we eat what we eat starts with our biology, much of which is still unexplored.

What Would Others Think?

One of the biggest fears we have is the fear of what others might think of us and our behaviors. I have folks connect with me for health coaching who literally are afraid that I will wave my finger in their face and say “No, you can’t do that! Oh no, no! I can’t believe you polished off that whole cupcake! I can’t believe you ate this big bar of chocolate!”

This is what you might see on reality TV like The Biggest Loser or My 600 lb Life where a trainer who’s extremely fit and probably hasn’t touched those types of foods in decades will scream obscenities at contestants who DARE think of that donut or fried cheese curds.

Or, it doesn’t even have to be a health guru or personal trainer. The next time you load up your plate with all sorts of tasty food, you might see a frown from your partner, mom, friend, or even co-worker.

They may even be bold enough to tell you something negative about your eating habits. Even if you have gone through counseling or therapy to deal with this situation, you may still feel very defensive about your food choices.

We might still get the feeling of “I shouldn’t do this because this person would be disappointed in me”  or “This expert told me this is not approved/healthy/good for me”. Consequently, you experience food deprivation.

I Deserve It

Another thing that might be creating food desire is this feeling that you deserve it. When I was growing up and I aced a test, my father would treat me to a Dairy Queen Blizzard. Eventually, I was unable to separate academic performance from getting ice cream. “I got an A!- I deserve a Blizzard!”

And that mentality followed me throughout high school and part of college. Even if I didn’t end up getting a blizzard, I ended up getting a treat of some sort. So I created that reward pathway in my brain of “If I do well in school, I deserve a treat”. That created an automatic response of desire.

Another situation that might come up for you is if you worked extremely hard in the gym. Perhaps you work so hard that you then tell yourself, “I deserve to have a full big lunch because I worked hard.”

So does that really mean you deserve to fill yourself with food when you’re done? Maybe, maybe not. This mentality creates an avalanche effect where every time you do really well in that aspect of your life, you’re creating an expectation that you will fulfill your desire to “treat yourself”.

I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to start a diet full of food deprivation to reach your health goals. In fact, it is PERFECTLY okay to desire food. What’s more- it’s okay to desire food for reasons that have nothing to do with hunger.

Pretending that you don’t eat for reasons other than hunger creates food deprivation. At the foundation of every one of my health coaching programs is understanding your unique needs and motivations when it comes to food. And, I have no intention as your coach to manipulate YOU (only your habits).

Most diets fail to do this. Most programs fail to do this. We know that deprivation is denying what’s important to you and what motivates you both in terms of food and how you perceive food.

Diminish Desire

So how then do we diminish desire? You can substitute, replace or safely indulge your desire.

What does that look like? Suppose you have a craving for a cupcake.

• You could find something else that will satisfy that craving for a cupcake.
• You can find a different way to cook that cupcake using healthier ingredients like whole grain flour, coconut oil and a sugar substitute.
• You can purchase a cupcake that’s much smaller than the local 500 calorie Starbucks variety.

 

There are definitely many tricks that you can use that allow you to satisfy your desire for food treats.

Delayed Gratification

Let’s talk about non-food options to satisfy food deprivation. I don’t know about you but the least satisfying thing I have ever heard from anyone in my life is when they say, “Oh? So you want a brownie? Okay, why don’t do you go exercise for 45 minutes instead and that’s gonna make you change your mind about wanting that brownie.”

Delaying your gratification can be helpful in very specific circumstances (especially over the holidays). I have certainly done this in the past but if you’re really craving a brownie and after that 45 minute walk, you still are craving the brownie, then the walk is probably not a good substitute for that.

Here’s what I mean by delayed gratification. I don’t mean that you don’t ever do it. I mean, that if you have a certain craving in the moment but you’re not physically hungry, you wait.

You put a time on it, or an event before it. Such as “In 15 minutes, I’ll come back to this”, and then keep your hands/mind busy!

To this point, you have explored ways to food deprivation can increase our desire for certain foods based on several different types of motivation. We have also learned some easy methods for diminishing desire without deprivation.

This is HARD WORK! And, it takes trial and error on your part. It took me over a year to understand those things when I was on my 100-lb weight loss journey.

And, I am honored to escort women through their own personal journeys. If you are ready to drop the diet, forget about food deprivation and diminish desire for foods that no longer support your health goals, let’s chat. Let it Go starts on November 7, and I am ready to support YOU. Click the image below to get started.

 

What techniques have been helpful for you when it comes to feeling less deprived and more alive? Share with us in the comments!