The 5 Love Languages for Weight Loss

Love languages enable you to pamper your partner in the way they most desire to be loved. Read how to harness your 5 love languages for weight loss.

Speaking the language of love is much easier than you think! Authored by Dr. Gary Chapman, “The 5 Love Languages“, is an internationally best-seller that describes how to improve your relationships through the power of focused communication. In addition to being the author of numerous books, he is the senior associate pastor of Calvary Baptist Church and holds a PhD.

The premise of the love languages is that we tend to demonstrate love in the way we wish to receive love. When we find a partner, we may not recognize their demonstrations of love if it does not match our personal love languages.

There is both a primary and secondary love language, and the five languages are expressed through gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch.

Take the quiz here to find your own: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Here is my take. While I am all about cultivating a good relationship with my partner, I am also a health coach who helps women find body bliss.

Part of being blissful in your body requires you to identify how to love yourself.

And, if there is one thing I have learned from coaching clients, many women are hungry for love- but reluctant to dish it out for themselves.

Therefore, I am ready to help you apply the 5 Love Languages to your personal weight loss journey!

 

Before you tell yourself that this blog sounds too selfish, know that expressing love to yourself also makes you more likely to express it to a partner. Plus, it allows your partner to see your love languages in action!

 

First, make sure you know what your primary and secondary love languages are: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Ready? Let’s get started with the self love!

 

1. Gifts

This is one area in which most diets are seriously lacking. And, who makes a habit of giving gifts to themselves? This is a hard area in which to pamper yourself- probably because if this is your primary language, you prefer the quest to find the perfect gift for SOMEONE else than yourself.

Well, no one can create the perfect health for you except yourself. So, girlfriend, get ready to gift yourself some amazing things!

One of the primary gifts you might think of when you reach a desired health goal is your favorite food. After all, you may have developed a reward system for doing hard work which revolves around food.

I recommend that my clients establish monthly milestones when they work with me. Once they reach those milestones, they can then gift themselves something special that is not food.

Some examples include:

• A new piece of clothing (in a smaller size)
• A massage (to ease sore muscles from sweat sessions)
• A nice set of loose leaf tea (like Loving Cup teas)
• A fun shade of lipstick or nail color
• Some encouraging socks (my favorite is Notes to Self)
• Even just an afternoon chilling in your favorite quiet coffee shop (without the kids!).

None of these things will break the bank, and will help you celebrate your amazing progress.

Even better, you can try an experience gift- such as a round of mini golf, a belly dance class, or guitar lessons. These are the gifts that keep giving, since they are a skill you can practice again and again.

If you don’t enjoy doing things solo, you can even tell a friend or partner about your goal, and invite them to join you if you make it! You might find them checking up on you.

I love giving gifts to others, and will often send snail mail packages to former clients (and even current ones). By far, my favorite gift is treating clients to a VIP health day, where we meet in person at a fun location, create a beautiful 90 day plan they can love, and close the day with a healthy lunch. I offer these limited experiences every month, and it is the biggest gift of all- my complete commitment to their success!

2. Quality time

This has always been my top language, and means spending distraction-free time with other people. I personally feel that this is important for introverts and people who come from large families, where quality time from parents is short.

The good news about this love language is it is highly specific to the individual. For example, I love spending time chatting about deep issues like politics, spirituality, and health with my friends. More than anything, the ability to brainstorm new ideas and share unique perspectives is very important to me.

However, another person may feel that quality time is sitting together on the couch watching shows. Or cooking together.

Some people mistake quality time for quantity time. However, 20 minutes of focused attention is much more important than 2 hours of scrolling a phone while “spending” time with someone.

Time is not money, and time can certainly mean love.

How do we apply this to a weight loss journey?

While many programs focus almost exclusively tasks such as tracking meals, fitness and sleep, that is quantity time more than quality time. Once you have established your patterns using these tools, you can drop those time-wasters even as you seek to change the habits.

Instead, quality time is focusing on THE MOST important goals and milestones without being distracted.

• If you are a person who prefers a group exercise environment, then it is a waste of your time and money to purchase an online fitness membership.
• If you are a person who enjoys the experience of cooking for others, then inviting friends over for dinner or bringing your latest creations to the office might inspire you to eat more of the healthy kinds of foods you don’t normally bother with for just yourself.
• If you are a person who struggles with following a plan, then quality time for you might mean connecting with someone who can understand your struggle. That is a better use of your time than writing down what you ate that day.

If this is your love language, then the best thing you can do for your health journey is to prioritize your health goals within your calendar. Preferably earlier in the day, so you are not tempted to put it off when others need you (remember, if quality time is important to you- you might be tempted to gift it to others before yourself).

If you are not sure how to really get quality time for you, a Lifestyle Inventory might be for you. In a Lifestyle Inventory, I walk you through your typical day and identify opportunities to leverage your time to meet your personal goals. You can schedule that here: www.calendly.com/jennchat

3. Words of affirmation

Last week, I shared a Livestream video on different ways to do affirmations. Words of affirmation means you respond really well to positive words of encouragement or praise. It could be that a simple “good job” is enough, or you need something that highlights exactly what a rockstar you are, such as “the way you shoveled the snow this morning made it so easy to get out of the garage. Thank you!”

Folks who gravitate towards personal training may have words of affirmation as their primary love language. After all, any trainer worth their salt doesn’t just yell at their clients and push them hard. They also deliver doses of love during a sweat session.

Let’s be real here- EVERYONE could benefit from more positive encouragement. It will never be a bad thing to brighten someone’s day by saying a kind word.

You may already do this for others- but not yourself.

What kind words can you spare for yourself? It could be an “I am” statement, such as “I am beautiful”, “I am strong”, “I am resilient” or “I am loved”.

It could be someone more specific, such as “I cook the very best lasagna in the whole country!” or “I make my kids and partner smile every day”.

It could even be something a little silly but fun, such as “I shake it like a Polaroid picture” or “My eyes sparkle like diamonds” or “Gosh darn it, people LOVE me”.

One of the best things I get to do as a coach is encourage my clients with words of affirmation for the amazing work they do, as well as encourage them to dream bigger for themselves.

Words have the power to change our reality, especially when we use them with love.

4. Acts of service

We hear this all the time (especially around Valentine’s Day). “Ugh, if my partner vacuumed the rug and cleaned the dishes, I would think he’s the sexiest man on earth!”

Acts of service is the idea that you feel loved when others do things for you- either because it makes your life easier or because they know you dislike the tasks.

My Dad excelled at acts of service. I remember when I was making plans to move out to MN for college, he volunteered his brother’s trailer for the task. Without even asking Uncle Frank!

That was the kind of Dad he was, and he always volunteered to help. When my car broke down, he and my brother drove up here, towed the car back, and replaced the transition themselves.

I express love to my family through acts of service- whether carpooling my kids, cooking up warm dinners for everyone, or making sure we all have clean towels and bed sheets.

These are simple acts, but can make a big difference.

How do acts of service show up for weight loss? This is probably the hardest one, because no one can do the work of weight loss FOR you. Yet, you can make it easier.

You can tie your service into your health goals by joining a fundraiser for a 5K for a cause you care about. You could shovel your neighbor’s driveway for them, or join a meal train for a mom with a new baby. That way, you are not just sharing the duties of life, but also your passion for a healthier one.

You could even join a non-profit group like the Spread Sunshine gang and make someone smile anonymously.

I love serving my health community in various ways, either through sharing a powerful presentation, offering free meal plans and accountability in Weight no More, going Live on my business page with monthly themes, or offering a complimentary Weight Loss Breakthrough call.

5. Physical touch

Other than gifts, I feel that this is one of the most highlighted love languages. And, though I don’t have the numbers to prove it, I suspect that this is a need that many of us are craving.

Physical touch does not have to be romantic. You have heard studies that skin-to-skin contact between a baby and parent within minutes of birth leads to a thriving child, and that hugs are more important to a young child’s development than praise. In this article from Elder Care Alliance, we know that a foot massage can reduce agitation in patients with dementia.

It reminds me of when my Dad was ill from two types of cancer. His feet were swollen so bad from water retention. My sister would lovingly massage his feet every day. While he never acknowledged this verbally, I’m sure it relaxed him.

People who enjoy physical touch as a love language also probably enjoy soft and luxurious items such as spa socks, weighted blankets, warm scented baths, or cozy sweaters. I have two people in my family who very much crave physical touch.

Um, how does this translate to your weight loss journey? No, you don’t have to start touching yourself (ahem). But, you can certainly make others touch YOU…

Many folks who dislike their bodies have lost their physical connection with their bodies. They avoid the mirror or photographs, and cover themselves up in baggy, non-revealing clothing. They may avoid hugs and do everything they can to not invade other people’s space.

I know because I spent much of my childhood hiding in these ways, and being very intentional about how I let people touch me. If I let them. I once told my Sophomore Sweetheart that one of our ground rules for our date was “no touching!”

(As you probably guessed, this is not my love language)

The best way you can demonstrate this love language on your weight loss journey is to STOP hiding! Seek out ways you can enjoy physical pleasures in non-threatening ways.

You don’t have to offer free kisses a la Pepe Le Pew on a street to enjoy simple physical pleasures.

• Start to notice how it feels when you just pull out that sweater from the dryer and feel its warmth on your body.
• Use a foot cream that smells amazing
• Buy a self-massager or foam roller and work those tight muscles
• Find ways to move your body so that you can feel what it is capable of. I always recommend dance to start out!
• Wear clothing that is a little bit tighter, so you can actually feel it on your skin instead of tenting around your body. If the fabrics you typically wear are coarse, find a statement piece in the softest material you can find, and put it somewhere it tickles.
• Challenge yourself to explore different textures and temperatures in your food and cooking. Give your taste buds an experience to remember with these spices.
• Rub your hands together and wrap them around yourself in a big bear hug

 

Using these five love languages of weight loss, you can fall in love with the most important person in your life- YOURSELF.

 

What is your primary and secondary love languages? How will you start giving yourself more of these amazing gifts this February? Share in the comments!