Seventeen years ago, a woman asked me something that I will never forget. I will never forget her words, or how I felt after she uttered them. It was one of the pivotal moments in life when I was fat shamed.
I was a college student working at an office supply store. It was a sunny day, and I felt cute with my hair in pigtails and a snazzy beige jumper. One of my customers leaned forward with a big smile on her face, and dropped a bomb.
“When are you due?”
If I was pregnant, I would have been ecstatic and would have bubbled with enthusiasm. But, I wasn’t pregnant. In fact, I wasn’t even sexually active.
As an obese child, it happened to me more times than I could count. It wasn’t until I lost 100 pounds that I discovered how my weight was holding me back from living, giving and loving at my full capacity. If you were lucky enough to escape the bullying that happens with childhood obesity, you may still be experiencing fat shaming as an adult.
According to the Huffington Post, more than one third of Americans have been fat-shamed. And, of those people, most experienced fat shaming not from a stranger like I did, but from a family member. You know, the people who are supposed to have your back?
Sure, some of these well-meaning strangers or family members may think they’re doing you a favor. However, Authority Nutrition confirms that fat shaming actually makes things worse. Overall, weight discrimination can cause depression, eating disorders, reduced self-esteem and raise the risk of all sorts of mental problems.
You already have enough problems to worry about without dealing with mental health issues on top of your physical issues. Am I right?
Caveat: I do NOT like the word “fat” and I will never refer to someone else as fat. I also do not encourage my coaching clients to use “cute” euphemisms for “fat”, such as “fluffy”, “plumb”, “chubby”, “pudgy”, “roly poly” or any other number of negative terms. The reason is you cannot embrace a new identity for yourself while living in the day-to-day of an old identity. While I might refer to myself as “former fat girl”, this acknowledges my mindset shift more than my relationship with my physical body.
You may wonder why I became a health coach. It’s not because I want to make tons of money or sell you some shady products. It’s also not because I have a degree in nutrition or a medical background. (Though I do have a BA in Global Studies and German, and an MA is in Leadership.)
I became a health coach because I never want another woman to wish she could just die after being the target of fat shaming. I want every woman out there who is frustrated and confused to become comfortable and confident on her own terms.
I also want to give a shout out to my body positive influencers out there. Being confident in your body at any size is a pillar of my work with clients. And, I believe that you can love yourself while still doing the work to improve yourself, inside and out.
I’d love to be the coach who ushers you into a healthier, happier version of you. Here is a short video on why I became a coach, and why it matters so much to me.
If you’re tired of the hiding, the shame, avoiding photographs, and postponing bliss until “later,” I am here for you. I was never comfortable asking for help when I most needed it. Can you summon the courage for yourself?
Let’s talk about how you can obtain your lighter and more confident future in a Discovery call.
No worries- I hate being sold to, and I won’t make you sit through 15 minutes of pitching. Nothing is more annoying or aggravating. Instead, I will ask you a few questions to learn what your top priority is, and identify one specific action step to reach that goal.
Scheduling a complimentary phone call with a holistic coach who cares could mean the difference between being confused and overwhelmed and knowing exactly what to do next in your journey. By the way, my programs are not specific just to weight loss- I embrace a holistic approach to mind, body, and spirit. That means that I can also help with life or career goals, especially if they are impacted by your health.
This time together is dedicated to YOU. Still not sure? You can learn more about me and my process HERE.
If you recently had a baby, congratulations! All of my programs are safe for nursing mothers and mothers who had C-sections. As a mother myself, I am very conscious of providing only the best for my daughters. I want no less for you and your family.
And, I don’t know about you, but I’m darn tired of someone hawking products to me that may or may not be safe for my biggest priority- my girls.
Don’t forget to schedule a free Discovery call at www.calendly.com/jennchat/
4 thoughts on “The Worst Thing to Say to a Fat Woman”
I usually have people thinking that I am young looking. But once someone asked me if my boys were my grandkids.
What a great problem to have, Tara! You must be doing something right. With a society that seems increasingly focused on outward appearances, it can be tough to feel like you “fit in”.
It can really crush someone’s self esteem when comments about weight are made. As if I didn’t already know I need to lose weight!
Too right, Rebecca! No matter how confident you feel, it is always a downer when someone tries to bring you down- even if they were not malicious about it. Fat shaming is real, though I’m glad there is more awareness around that today than there used to be. But, that doesn’t mean you won’t still appear “pregnant” to some folks 🙁
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