You set a huge, scary health goal for yourself, and take action. Until you stop seeing progress. Here is why goal setting fails (and a process you can love!)
“I can do this. Yeah, I’ll just jump in and take action!”
Does this sound like you? This could be a tell-tale sign that you are “winging it” when it comes to goal setting.
Here are some signs that you might be winging when it comes to your health:
- You might consume more magazines, news articles, blogs, to find the perfect fit program.
- You might listen more to the success stories from friends, family or ads.
- You might have some idea of what your target weight or size is.
I’m notorious for winging it when I started my weight loss journey about 18 years ago. By this, I mean I had no idea what I was doing, I didn’t have a SMART goal, and I had zero support.
I just knew I wanted to live a long and healthy life. I had some ideas, I had some guidelines, and I even had “gurus” who seemed to know their stuff.
Luckily, I was successful in losing a hundred pounds in that first year. And it wasn’t just pure luck. Instead, I created a goal setting process that allowed me to succeed.
First of all, let’s be clear. I am a BIG FAN of taking action. Even imperfect action, so long as it takes you out of overwhelm and overthinking. Yet, I want to share a personal example of when I finally realized that taking action does not replace a repeatable goal setting process.
One of my greatest passions in life is speaking. In fact, most of my coaching clients have found me through a seminar or presentation I have done here in Minneapolis.
While I have invested money in my professional development, I had never purchased training on how to become a better speaker outside of Toastmasters International.
Several years ago, I bought a ticket to an event specifically for professional speakers who want to improve their performance. It was called Heroic Public Speaking (and I got the T-shirt).
This 3 day event connected me with 600 other professionals in the speaking business, some with 30 plus years experience, and was led by professionally trained actors and “heroic” dream team of Michael and Amy Port.
I learned much over the course of that 3 day event. The most important thing I learned was the 7 step rehearsal process.
I’m a process-oriented geek. I used to work in process improvement for major financial institutions massaging thousands of data points every day, which means I tend to see patterns where others only see actions.
I see motivations and strategies, and I am passionate about continuous improvement. Sometimes just intuitively without being able to explain what’s going on.
Let me tell you folks- I had never attempted a 7 step process before presenting anything! That doesn’t mean I wasn’t prepared. My typical process involves writing out a script, or at least bullet points of main ideas, crafting an opening and closing, and including some juicy gift. That is where my “process” ended.
You can be prepared without having a process.
What you cannot be without a process is a MASTER. Dare I say, you cannot be an ARTIST?
In essence, I had been winging my presentations.
If audience feedback is any indicator, my presentations are good. And, I know that they can be even greater!
My typical process is really a glorified prep session. At HPS, they showed us several different layers of editing so we can improve each and every presentation. Using steps that I either 1) don’t like or 2) didn’t think to add.
How does this translate to principles for setting nutrition goals? In conversations I have with clients, they might say “Well, I think I know what to do. Yeah, yeah, I know what to do. I’m just going to eat more vegetables. I’m going to eat less sugar. I’m going to start a Paleo Diet.” And, that’s the end of their “process”.
Not bad for a beginner. Sufficient for a self-starter. And still just skimming the surface.
However, all of this should be supported by a repeatable process, and not just various actions or hypotheses that you “test out”.
Here is how the typical “take control of your health” goal setting goes down.
Step One
You say, “I’m going to eat better”.
Step Two
Then you say, “I’m going to exercise. I’m going to hit the gym and I’m going to get sweaty.”
Step Three
Finally, you add”I’m going to change how I talk to myself, and be more loving“.
Here’s the problem. Each one of these very important steps could take an entire year (if not more) by themselves to MASTER.
There’s a difference between knowing what to do and getting started. Then, once you start, you need to figure out how to deal with the plateaus and bumps in the road along the way.
Often alone.
I’ve been through the process. I have mastered the concepts of how to meal plan, both for myself and my clients. I have mastered the concepts of how to get fit without a gym.
I’ve mastered the ability to be confident in myself, into supporting myself until I can find the right people to support me and uplift me. Those are things I mastered 18 years ago, and that’s why I became passionate about becoming a health coach.
Don’t make the same mistake with your health that I did with my speaking. Don’t just wing it!
That’s what I did in my speaking business, and I was doing myself a disservice. I was not performing at the level expected of someone who wants to share a stage with the biggest names in health and fitness. I was neglecting opportunities to refine my message of hope and confidence.
Not because a lack of passion or knowledge, but because of a lackluster and incomplete process.
If you are wondering what on earth is a better process, here is the 4 step goal setting process I use with my clients (or you can just join me for 30 Days and get my direct support).
- Create Awareness of your Baseline
Most of us haven’t the foggiest idea of what or how much we are eating. Don’t believe me? We make more than 200 food-related decisions daily, and aren’t aware of 90 percent of them, according to Brian Wansink, Ph.D. and director of the Cornell University Food and Brand Lab.
The best way to create awareness is to track your baseline habits. You don’t even need to join Lose It or My Fitness Pal- simply note down in a journal what and how much you eat/drink every day for a week. Don’t change anything- just write it.
If you want to get really fancy, you can even note down your mood (both when you wake up and when you go to bed), or how well you sleep at night.
This part of the process doesn’t take as long as you think it does- you don’t need to wait WEEKS before taking the next step. All you need is an understanding of your typical patterns, and a week is a good amount of data to start with.
Note: Beware of the special reports from tracking apps- they will suck you into various topics that may or may not be insightful for you, and you could overthink the whole thing or get overwhelmed.
2. Dream Big (bigger than you usually do)
“I need to lose weight” is now a generic statement that can apply to more than half of all Americans. If that is what you start out with for a beautiful goal, you might lose steam along the way.
Most people don’t dream big enough, or they get lost in SMART goals. They might say, “I’m going to lose 25 pounds.”
The best way to add some heat to that goal? Get your feelings involved!
What is the big dream that surrounds that? What are you able to do that’s different than before? Explore that for yourself.
I understand how tough it is to envision big goals, and this exercise is not to test whether you “can” achieve the goal. It is to get clear on how that goal makes you FEEL.
Maya Angelou said it best: “People will forget, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget the way you made them feel”.
How do you want to feel once you obtain your ultimate health goal?
I never believed I could lose 100 pounds, or that I would be in a national magazine for that story, or that I could run a half marathon. Those all started with the spark of a dream that once felt impossible.
Don’t edit yourself when dreaming. Just as you try to encourage your children to dream big- give yourself the same precious gift.
3. Map out the Process
Have you ever plugged a new address or location into Google Maps, and felt like it was taking you all over the place with no aim in mind? Only to end up safely and confidently at your destination?
You can certainly try to figure out the best path to take you to your ultimate health destination. And, you might find yourself detoured, roadblocked, late, or angry. At the very least, success is rarely a straight line.
You can even ask experts, whether those are big names on TV, the Internet, or your friend who has reached her pre-baby weight. And, they might have some great insights for you.
The secret to an effective goal setting process involves simultaneously being able to see your BIG DREAM while working towards smaller, less important milestones to get there.
Milestones serve several purposes- you know what steps to take weekly or even daily that are measurable. This could be the typical weight loss numbers- like calories, points, carbs, servings (portions), pounds, reps, miles, steps, gallons (of water)- the possibilities are endless!
The challenge with these milestones is you are testing each one to find the “right” number for you. Which is so individual that guidelines are a very rough estimate.
Part of the process that should NOT be ignored (and often is) is regularly measuring your progress on these milestones. That might involve weighing in, testing your body fat, putting on clothes that don’t usually fit, taking photos, measuring your waistline, or perceived energy levels.
Deciding on your particular milestones is THE HARDEST part of this journey. I can help guide you through this in a Weight Loss Breakthrough phone call.
4. Review your Data
We live in a deadline and time-driven world. I could argue against this, but why bother? Deciding how often to review your data is a deciding moment for goal setting.
When you set the wrong timeline for your goals, you are then counting down to that timeline.
Sometimes, you may be tempted to ditch your milestones entirely! After all, why work so hard towards your goal if it doesn’t seem to be changing anything? In fact, Forbes shares that one of the common roadblock to reaching success is simply giving up too soon!
Here is where patience, and a deeper understanding of yourself supports you.
When you look back at the past week of your habits, what stayed the same? What changed?
There are two approaches you can take once you look at your data. You could chalk up your lack of progress to human error (I messed up), or environmental error (my husband gave me donuts). Which one you turn to most often will be a great insight into finally achieving your biggest goals.
This is where my past experience in gap analysis comes in. Gap analysis is a process of identifying how to bridge the gap between your target and your current reality.
It can be easy to beat yourself up over your data. If you are upset over your data, it will be harder to think objectively about what you need to do.
Studies show that people with an internal locus of control versus an external one are more likely to enjoy better health, have greater confidence, and more self-esteem. That is in addition to being more achievement oriented and hold better paying jobs.
The good news is- you don’t have to be objective all the time! That is where an accountability partner or coach come in.
Bonus Step: Celebrate You
There is always something to celebrate! Maybe you didn’t reach a certain number on the scale or a certain mileage you were running for. However, maybe you slept better than you have in months, or you are less sore after a workout.
Take a moment to pause, and find the good in your journey. If this is something you have never been good at, then finding a supportive partner or coach will be CRITICAL for you.
Not all support is equal. If you bemoan the pizza and beer you indulged in, and your partner says “Yeah, no more pizza for you!”, that may bring up some resentment.
Celebrations are always a little more fun with a token of appreciation. Check out some of my favorite non-food rewards.
That is the 4 step process I use with my coaching clients. Using this goal setting process can save you the trouble of winging it when it comes to your health.