Do you love reading self-help books? Learn why self-help books may not be helpful for your personal development.
I love everything about books- from handling their spines to smelling their fresh pages to lovingly curling up with one in my favorite chair.
When I was in 6th grade, I competed for the most books read in my class. I came in a close second at around 30 books for the year.
My book habit hasn’t ever stopped, though it did slow down drastically after I had my two daughters. From sci-fi and fantasy to chick lit, I digest books almost faster than I digest my favorite meal. I was overjoyed when I read from Gladwell that it takes 10,000 hours of dedicated practice in order to achieve mastery. Later studies indicated that deliberate practice may not be as important in certain areas as others.
For the past several years, though, I have been gravitating more towards non-fiction, specifically self-help. I’m not the only one. According to Dealsonhealth, the self-improvement industry grew by 4.3% from 2011 to 2016. The self-improvement market size is expected to surpass $13.2 billion by 2022.
That is just the self-improvement industry, which includes programs, apps, courses and books. When we look at books specifically, we find out that 18.6 million self-help books were sold in 2019. Interestingly enough, the average customer of self-help is a middle-aged woman between 40-50; however, millenials (those born between the years of 1981 and 1996) are willing to spend up to $300 per month on personal development.
Considering I am a woman who fits this demographic, and many of my coaching clients also fit this demographic, I felt it would be helpful to share why self-help books may not be the savior you hope them to be.
(Did you know I am part of a self-help book on weight maintenance after losing weight? You can grab The Art of Weight Maintenance for only $10 here using coupon code “jennbook2016”.)
Before we launch into why self-help books are not helpful, I want to share some of my favorites in honor of National Book Month and Amazon Prime day. If you want to check out some of my favorite weight loss books, you can find those here.
If you are anything like me, your biggest purchases on Amazon may be books. According to BusinessInsider, of the top 30 best-selling Amazon Prime deals in 2019, 3 involve Kindle products, including the annual membership with access to 1 million free books.
I have chosen this list because these are books that inspire my speaking programs (especially Miracle Morning and Mindless Eating), inform my desires to continuously improve, and assist my coaching clients with motivation for change when it comes to wellness.
Self-Help Books I Recommend
In order for a habit to stick, you have to understand the formula of Behavior=Motivation+Ability+Prompt. This book explores the smallest way to change, replace, or stop habits using this formula.
- Atomic Habits by James Clear
Probably my favorite book of all time on habits, this book has sold more than 1 million copies! I also highly recommend the 3-2-1 newsletter, which includes a weekly email with 3 ideas from him, 2 quotes from others, and 1 question.
- How Not to Die by Dr. Michael Greger
Despite its dramatic title, this book was a great exploration of how to thrive as a vegan. Dr. Greger is an internationally-renowned nutrition expert, physician and founder of Nutritionfacts.org. I found his Daily Dozen app very helpful when I took the Veganuary pledge in January 2020.
- Mindless Eating: Why We Eat more than we Think by Brian Wansink
This book is not about how to eat mindfully- instead it provides techniques to outsmart food marketing and how to hack your environment to mindlessly eat less food. Considering the importance of changing my own environment in order to lose 100 pounds, I appreciate how food researcher and consumer behavior expert Wansink dives into this lesser-known way to eat better.
- Blue Zones by Dan Buettner
The Blue Zones was an iconic book that looked at the habits of the most long-lived people in the world, who are mostly concentrated in 5 regions of the world. I was lucky to attend a meeting back in December 2019 with author, Dan Buettner, where he shared his latest book, the Blue Zones Cookbook. Very simple and interesting recipes, many of which are vegetarian.
- You are a Badass (any of them) by Jen Sincero
I love Sincero’s in-your-face and often funny writing. Somehow, she cuts through the typical (yawn) motivational prattle and reveals some zingers that ring true. I have two versions of her books, and the button with some quotes, including “You ARE a badass!”.
- The Yoga of Eating by Charles Eisenstein
This book was recommended to me by a business colleague, and it offers an alternative way to honor your eating rituals. If you are familiar with my process, I am not a big fan of calling food “good” or “bad”, and this book had me pumping my fist and saying “Hallelujah!”.
- Miracle Morning (any of them) by Hal Elrod
This is an internationally selling books that has been translated in many languages, and has editions for everything from stay-at-home moms to salespeople. Hal Elrod has cheated death several times in his relatively young life, and also hosts a podcast.
- The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More and Change the Way you Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier
Some people may believe that a coach tells you what to do. However, that couldn’t be farther from the truth! I first learned the difference between consulting and coaching when I was pursuing my Master’s in Leadership degree, and coaching has appealed to me since I decided to become one.
In this book, you learn how to ask the right questions instead of giving advice. While this book was written more for managers or leaders in a career setting, it can be applied in just about every context.
- The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin
I have been a fan of Gretchen Rubin ever since she wrote The Happiness Project. However, I use her Four Tendencies quiz both with my coaching clients and to understand my family needs quite often. I also dragged my husband to see a live taping of the Happier podcast she hosts with her sister, Elizabeth!
Can you guess which tendency I have?
Alright, those are some of my favorite self-help books. But, you may be wondering why I “waste” my time reading any self-help books.
This post is not about why you shouldn’t read self-help books. Instead, I want to highlight the TRAP of reading too many self-help books.
3 Reasons Self-Help Books aren’t Helfpul
1. You don't take action
Have you ever read a book, said “that’s good”, and taken ZERO action? Yeah, me, too.
It’s not as if the ideas weren’t useful, or the action was unachievable for you. It could be that the cost of taking action is greater than the supposed rewards of change.
Sometimes, there is also a placebo effect after you are finished reading the self-help book. By default, the book requires to develop awareness around the topic. And, the awareness itself is “enough” for you to determine that you are improving.
I believe in the importance of awareness when it comes to lifestyle change. However, that is only step 1 in my own process of 4 steps to sustainable habit change.
2. You don't have time to read the book (or it takes time away from the work)
I mentioned that I took a break from reading after my children were born. While I desperately missed my reading time, I simply didn’t have the ability or desire to be away from my family then.
In an interesting year-long experiment conducted by Andre Spicer, who dedicated a year to self-improvement, he admitted that by the end of it, his marriage was not at its best and he didn’t feel like a better version of himself at all.
From a time perspective, look also at the cost of reading a bunch of self-help books. By continually focusing on the newest way to improve and track your progress, you have less time to do the actual work.
I have seen this happen again and with coaching clients who ask for book recommendations or research on their desired goals, but then neglect the work.
3. You get bad or general advice that doesn't apply to you
Self-help has greatest success with people with high motivation, resourcefulness and positive attitudes toward self-help treatments, according to this 2003 study from Mains and Scogin.
It is safe to assume that someone who is reading a self-help book might want to improve overall happiness, if not specific areas of their life. That could indicate high motivation, but not necessarily resourcefulness or positive attitude.
In particular, there are two myths of self-help that may be keeping you stuck even after you have read the books. Research shows that thinking positive may actually highlight your current misery, and visualizing goals ignores the very real step of determining necessary steps to reach our goals.
Let me be clear- I do not believe that most self-help books have BAD advice. Yet, the hardest part for the reader is understanding how to take that advice and apply it to their unique situation.
That is why I believe in the power of coaching. Not all advice is meant to be acted upon, and sometimes you lose focus if you try to do it all at once. Instead, I guide my clients through the most impactful action steps for them. Books cannot provide this specific support, even if they come with a wonderful journal, workbook or companion course.
Special note: when I read a self-help book, I generally have an intention behind what I want to take from the book. Maybe it’s to discover something about myself, to find tools to support my coaching process or clients, to pump up my speaking content, or even just quotes or motivation to share with my social media followers.
At the end of the day, is it worth it to read self-help books when you want to improve your life? The answers depends on you.
If you enjoy reading, have the time to really focus on not just the content, but also your intentions for the content, and are willing to take action on the content, then self-help books might be the first step in your personal development journey.
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